Monthly Archives: January 2011

Black Horse

“Crazy Horse dreamed and went into the world where there is nothing but the spirits of all things. That is the real world that is behind this one, and everything we see here is something like a shadow from that one.” ~Black Elk

My first perception is that I am running hard and fast. I feel powerful vibrations through the bulk of my torso in time with the thunderous crash of my hoofs on an unseen ground.  The wind whips back my hair.  I feel great..very strong, euphoric.  It takes a few moments for the wordless realization…I’m a horse.

The landscape is a featureless, misty white plane as far as I can see in any direction. No sky. No horizon. Nothingness to infinity. As I slow my pace to take in my surroundings, I see over my right shoulder that a strange, impish creature is running beside me. He is maybe three feet tall and running on two legs in a human like body covered in sleek black fur from head to toe. His face is similar to that of a Tamarin or Lemur with large, intelligent eyes and elvish ears. I sense that he is somehow a part of me.

Looking ahead, I spy a fleck of darkness against the endless white backdrop, and make my way toward it. In what passes as the ground in this unexplainable place, it appears to be a hole. As the two halves of myself morph into my own body, I reach into the hole and pull out a shining key that is bigger than my fist.

Immediately, I am shocked and amazed to find myself here, standing in the middle of nothing, fully present and more aware than I’ve ever been in my life. Lucidity!

“What the hell is this place? I’m here…but my body is back in Sewaren having a nice, cozy sleep in bed. Let’s go see!”

In the next instant, I am standing next to my bed looking down at my self while my logic brain lamely tries to make sense of it.

“Am I dreaming him or is he dreaming me? Did I just check out of that body, or what?!  Maybe my ‘real’ life is just another facet of this larger dream.”

I somehow rationally contrive that I am in the third level of dreaming. The first being my real life, the second my normal dreaming, and the third being this profound lucid state to which the white expansiveness is something like a mid-world or threshold. I am whisked back to ‘the lonesome plane’.

The white mist begins to swirl and is transformed into a sunny forest glade. Bright and cheerful and full of birdsong. The voice in my head tells me I am now in the fourth level of dreaming. Standing in the middle of the glade is a dilapidated woodshed type of structure about fifteen feet square. It is constructed of rough sawed planks with rusting corrugated tin sheets for a roof. I pull open a creaking door and step inside.

All is darkness as my eyes take time to adjust to the little light that filters through the cracks in the walls. I hear and sense a malevolent presence stirring in the center of the room. I have awoken a sleeping giant who begins to rise with his back towards me. My instinct tells me that if he turns around and sees me, he will undoubtedly murder me.  In my peripheral vision I sense more movement along the walls, and start with shock to realize I am being watched intently by a group of robed hooded figures whose faces are concealed in the shadows.

Extreme panic sets in and I realize I have only a split second to act. What will I do?!  The key I still clutched tightly in my hand I realize is now a wicked long knife. I plunge it into the giant’s back (not very sporting of me) expecting a fight.  He immediately falls dead while I await some form of violent retribution from my audience. To my astonishment, all are nodding their heads in silent approval. (End of dream).

The following day as I was driving the green pickup truck to a job site somewhere in the vicinity of  the Middlesex County Jail, I couldn’t help wondering about the strangeness of it all. At just the instant I was wondering what color horse I was, my eyes were magnetically drawn to a small street sign about a quarter mile down the road on the opposite side. When I was close enough to read it properly, I was dumbfounded to read ‘Black Horse Lane’.

Black Elk saw the earth becoming sick. The animals, the winged ones, and the four-legged ones grew frightened. All living things became gaunt and poor. The air and the waters dirtied and smelled foul. Below, Black Elk saw a blue man living in and empowering the sickness. The powers of the four directions, represented by four horses, charged the blue man, but were beaten back. The Grandfathers called upon Black Elk. His bow changed into a spear, and he swooped down on the blue man, killing him. When the blue man fell, all life came back upon the earth; all things became fresh and healthy again.”  Black Elk’s Vision

Who is the Blue Man? What does he represent? See also The Seventh Fire.

A fitting soundtrack to my story. Brilliant song and performance by KT Tunstall. A song about forsaking love one too many times until it eventually turns it’s back on you and walks away forever.

The Black Horse image is by Rashed Al Ben Ali, aka Taaj, who magnanimously gave me his blessing to use it .  Here is the link to his Flickr page:

Here we go.

An extremely cold weekend, waking up to 32 degrees below zero this morning. The furnace has chosen the perfect time to quit working, but luckily there’s lots of wood to burn. It seems like a good enough excuse to get this blog up and running, as I’ll be stuck here filling the wood stove until the new heat exchanger arrives next week.

At the moment, I have very little idea what I’m doing on WordPress, but think I will manage to muddle through. The Black Horse image in the header is cropped from a photo by Rashed Al Ben Ali, aka Taaj, who magnanimously gave me his blessing to use it .  Here is the link to his Flickr page:

The meaning of the Black Horse will be clear in my first ‘real’ post. Until then.

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